What Nobody Realized. {100th post}

I celebrated turning 55 this year. My oldest daughter with the grandkids and I. She's been with me since I was 15. Some could say we grew up together. Perhaps that is the key in our relationship.

I went from living with my parents to being a mom, losing my dreams and plans along the way. I later returned myself to my education and added some college over the years.

I truly missed my calling. I've spent years in family court defending myself and protecting my children all pro tem and always a win? If you could call it a win. The damage it does to the children is irreparable. The damage it does to you.... goes unspoken.

Had I have gotten to law school I can see where I could have made a difference. As it stands I helped make a few changes. I would never trade my children for anything. If I had to do it again I couldn't do it without them.

I just celebrated my very first year of living by myself.

Take a moment and think about that one. Your alone time, the time you use to develope who you are without others influence so as to become the true you. ..... Most get this as they grow up. For me, it's on the down side of the mountain, growing older. (I'll let you know when I feel as old as I am).

New therapist in my life is just learning the ins and outs. A time line and family tree are two good tools so they can keep up. My life has not been simple. Happiness is a choice to be made when life is not pleasant. Joy is something you feel when life is good. Big difference.

While I enjoy living by myself I do not like to be alone. Another difference. I gave up everything for my kids, and now to return the appreciation is in time spent with the grandchildren. The true joy in one's life.

There is so much you don't see when you look at someone, so much you don't know just by talking to them.

Once again I am told I am a strong person.... sharing my life amazes people ..... yet I take no pride in it. I only hope this 'strength' I'm told I have can someday be the betterment of life for someone else.

What nobody realizes is that I do not feel strong. I do not feel I am what others see in me, those that see the good or those that call it bad.... Truly nobody really knows you.... except you. and how often do you truly know yourself?

Blessed by God,

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn.

Thanks for stopping by,

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.

It's time Grama

This last summer I had to do what was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. That was to decide to put down my senior gelding.
My Grandson's horse.

MR.BUDDY LOVE

RIP Mr. Buddy Love

Seizures 3 within hours of each other, led to the immediate prognosis - He was deemed unsafe to be around the children.
His age was nearing 30, his health had been good until the seizures. He lost weight rapidly and became depressed as did I.

It's taken a while for all of us to recover. I had four horses, adopted 2 out on a Thursday and by Monday, Buddy was at his worst. Gone the following Saturday.

StarBright went from the leader of a herd accompanied by Buddy her long time companion of over 15 years. To being the only horse standing next to me. I went from chores and horses care and expense to suddenly having time for the one horse and my grandchildren.... Hmmm.

My Grandson has mourned in his own way. He took it hardest of all. As one would expect an 8 year old to feel about his horse.

We have a horse trailer now and trail rides in the future. He was hanging out with me helping clean up the trailer and .......

He's informed me

It's time Grama, I need a new horse so we can go riding together.

So here's the AD.

WANTED a small horse / large pony. 13-14 hands works best. Older, prefer manners, ridable. Looking for the horse that you want to have a new good home and a boy to love (as well as many other children). I can't do wild rescues anymore due to back injuries. My grandson will be the trainer. Please call or text if you think you have his next horse. We're lifer's so this is a forever home. Until it's time to pass over . 
253-218-7121

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.