I hope everyone stays safe and has a Happy 4th of July. I personally wish fireworks were ban and left in China where they belong.
Freedom - Independence.....
It hasn't felt very free in our country lately.
Life hasn't felt very free lately either.
Forgive the quietness. I don't like to complain and I no longer have my wonderful therapist to vent to. So silence holds things in place. The month of June was contemplation and preparation for things to come.
Blood and family are 2 different things. Sadly I have some blood that doesn't know the meaning of family. And some family that doesn't understand the meaning of blood.
I live in a complicated situation, stressful and depressing. My horses are my happiness and my escape. My grandchildren the joy of life. However I guard my heart and we're not as close as we could be.
Many ask why I returned to such misery and feel I deserve it. Since I 'chose' to be here. I stayed to find out what was wrong and I wanted to understand. I had hoped I could fix it.
To what cost? The pain and grief it's caused me and my children? The lives it's destroyed.. to whose advantage?
Wasn't mine.
Some think I'm a mean person. Like everyone I have a dark side. It only shows to those who have caused pain in my life. I waste no energy on people that have done wrong. I simply close the door. That makes me mean.?
What does it make those that cause the pain ?
People have no idea the pain I live with.
I may not be around much in July as well. Still struggling with overcoming some obstacles to my peace. As always life's better at the barn.
