The best advice I could give anyone is
The one's that send the child support check with the kids. Really?
Put it in the mail if you can't deliver it personally with respect.
When you don't communicate face to face as parents, your leaving it up to your children and they don't always transfer the messages as intended. They can also learn how to manipulate one against the other. Don't empower your children to disrespect your parenting.
Don't let others talk to your children about your relationship. It was between the two of you and only the two of you should speak to your children about what happened.
Don't let your new relationships disrespect your children's other parent.
You had a child together, surely you can show each other enough respect to be civilized for your children.?
I remember when my second husband and I went to a place downtown, to get some advice on his custody issue. The man was horrible. He told us how he would make his kids take the clothes from their mother off and wear his purchased clothes for the weekend, then they would have to put their other clothes back on to go home.... Really!
We blew out of there and never looked back.
~~For my kids ~~
I told my kids very little of what had happened. They seen plenty on their own and their dad's drinking and violence was no secret.
I tried to help them understand that alcoholism, isn't who a person is.
Visitation was a choice, not forced regardless of court orders. That included how long they wanted to stay during the summers as well.
I gave them the family pictures of 'all of us' for their personal collections. Making sure they knew I wasn't erasing their dad from their lives. Reminding them, that at one time their dad loved us, including me. It helped reassure them, after hearing him talk of how much he wanted me dead.
I've watched the pain my children have endured over these very things.
My ex told our children if they ever called anyone else dad, he would slit their throat.
My ex and his wife went around telling my children that they have a bullet with my name on it.
That is child abuse without need for a dictionary to define it.
And they don't understand why the protection order is permanent.
My youngest daughter cut his picture out of several of her picture books during a time of strife. It was her choice, not something I did or told her to do. I encouraged my children to have their own feelings.I discouraged my kids from hating their dad, no matter how much he hated me.
My ex would say and do things that scarred my kids for life.
Dont' make the same mistake with yours.
YOUR KIDS HAVE FEELINGS
Always try to remember that.
How you treat their other parent, is how you are teaching them to have relationships, And how to cope with ending relationships.
Thoughts to ponder
Blessed by God,
Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn.
Thanks for stopping by,
Until next time, Stay safe and Happy trails.