November 19, 2019

What Nobody Realized. {100th post}



I celebrated turning 55 this year. My oldest daughter with the grandkids and I. She's been with me since I was 15. Some could say we grew up together. Perhaps that is the key in our relationship.

I went from living with my parents to being a mom, losing my dreams and plans along the way. I later returned myself to my education and added some college over the years.

I truly missed my calling. I've spent years in family court defending myself and protecting my children all pro tem and always a win? If you could call it a win. The damage it does to the children is irreparable. The damage it does to you.... goes unspoken.

Had I have gotten to law school I can see where I could have made a difference. As it stands I helped make a few changes. I would never trade my children for anything. If I had to do it again I couldn't do it without them.

I just celebrated my very first year of living by myself.

Take a moment and think about that one. Your alone time, the time you use to develope who you are without others influence so as to become the true you. ..... Most get this as they grow up. For me, it's on the down side of the mountain, growing older. (I'll let you know when I feel as old as I am).

New therapist in my life is just learning the ins and outs. A time line and family tree are two good tools so they can keep up. My life has not been simple. Happiness is a choice to be made when life is not pleasant. Joy is something you feel when life is good. Big difference.

While I enjoy living by myself I do not like to be alone. Another difference. I gave up everything for my kids, and now to return the appreciation is in time spent with the grandchildren. The true joy in one's life.

There is so much you don't see when you look at someone, so much you don't know just by talking to them.

Once again I am told I am a strong person.... sharing my life amazes people ..... yet I take no pride in it. I only hope this 'strength' I'm told I have can someday be the betterment of life for someone else.

What nobody realizes is that I do not feel strong. I do not feel I am what others see in me, those that see the good or those that call it bad.... Truly nobody really knows you.... except you. and how often do you truly know yourself?

Blessed by God,
Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn.
Thanks for stopping by,
Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.

Like what you see at the Bright side of the Barn?