Nobody!
I lived with un-diagnosed depression most of my life.
I was raised, that depression is choice and it was up to me to
'get over it'.
So, without medication or help, I learned to cope.
I grew up thinking it was me and my fault that I felt the way I did. ...
Mind you being molested, raped and mentally abused most of the time, was to have played NO PART in it. Right?
I was 'advanced' .
What does that mean.
To smart for my own good.
Wise beyond my years. ...
I could go on.
But what it really means is an IQ of over 150 and being gifted in the learning department.
And whether I liked it or not, people noticed I was smart.
I even tried to hide it.
Reading before the age of 5 played a great part of my intelligence.
Why am I always telling you to read to your children??????
My doctor asked me if I wanted to be special or normal, I said please don't tell them,
and he never did tell my parents exactly what my scores were.
He merely told them "She's gifted". That was enough.
I tried to dumb down because I 'intimidated people'.
I was once even told I needed to dumb down my resume because in a job interview the owner told me that I could run his company better than he did and that intimidated him.
Ya, I didn't get the job because the owner was afraid I would do better than he did?
Do I try to be better than anyone,
HELL NO
Do I think I'm better than others
HELL NO
{My therapist will tell you I tear myself apart more than any other person}
I try to stay to myself and go through life unnoticed.
I like to be by myself,
because in truth there are very few people that I can relate to.
To understand what I mean .....
Imagine yourself 7 feet tall trying to fit in and go 'unnoticed.'
You didn't ask to be 7 feet.
Your not trying to reach 8 feet.
You often wish you were only 5 feet tall.
But in reality, there is nothing you can do about it except - accept it.
Because of my depression and struggle with suicide, I have worked hard to find the positive, even in the darkest hours.
I have found many happy moments, and the strength to be the only one there to stop me, when it could have been the end.
My life is full of unfortunate events.
And yet , I'm blessed with everything on the Bright side of the Barn.
Sometimes, it's been hard to find.
I was born butt first and my life has been ass backwards.
Things happen to me that no one would believe.
The book I've been requested to write is going to be titled
YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD YOU
but here it is.
Some of my previous blog posts express the a taste of the many events in my life...
Want a fresh example...
The latest event is the government giving my stimulus check to someone else, direct deposit into their account..... not mine.
So, if you ever think your life is F*** up, come on over let me tell you a story from mine... You'll leave feeling better like everyone else does.
Complaining, no, That is something I don't really do.
I vent, I cope, I deal with it, I've been known to 'put an end to it' but
I never get over it, and I always go forward.
Remember this
You can't stand in the sunshine without having a shadow.
Blessed by God
Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn
Thanks for stopping by
Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails