Why share the dirt?
Why you think a persons life is supposed to be rosy and sweet?
You can be a good person in a bad situation. More often than not, good hearted people go down because they cared.
I went back to facebook for the Simply Fun games, advertise my Notary services and to connect with a few people, that FB is the only way to reach them. Since March, the friend requests piled in and we got up to 598...
Now that I've opened the door to the darker side of life, the number is dropping a bit. However, others are getting more interactive. You would be amazed at how many people are struggling with things and to hear how someone else is going through it..... can help.
A few people have shared their lives and been a huge benefit in my world.
The thing is, this last weekend I realized just how much truth there is in the statement
You can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
I have lived a lifetime of abuse. I'm thinking because it was the 'normal' in my world. I tried to give my kids a better life than I had, It's been an uphill road. It's been painful, embarrassing at times, frustrating, and happy and peaceful.... and it keeps falling apart.
Why?
People seem to like labels.
Depression
Anxiety
PTSD PTSS
Bi Polar
multiple personality disorder
There are some labels more welcomed than others.
ADHD
Autism
.... Every label has a different combination of conditions.
When you live with someone with a mental illness, you are very much alone in this world. They look so sweet and innocent to the outside world and it's hell at home.......
When you have your own mental well being to keep healthy, it's twice as hard.
Bi Polar, know how to be evil to you and nice to others. Multiple personalities take over when someone can't handle what's in front of them. Depression isn't something you can just 'cheer up' and be healed. Anxiety.... really, 'just relax', right?
You notice how so many people have solutions yet they don't have their DR's degree? Friends family and co workers.... all have so many answers, so many cures.
Avoidance, when it gets uncomfortable.
So we 'just don't talk about it'. We don't 'air our dirty laundry'. We don't speak our minds and share our opinions respectfully, because....
We're afraid others will look down on us for having 'mental' problems in our lives...
I get nobody wants to hear the whoa is me break ups.. but when someone is struggling with a family member that has ups and downs, it's nice to share the emotions, because, someone out there, is going through the same thing.
Imagine what it's like to try and tell someone they hurt your feelings and they become a 12 year old and start telling you everything 'they hate about you'. Do you think you can have resolving conversation?
Imagine having someone get upset about 'who knows what' and they start going off and yelling and screaming and destroying things. . . There you stand, and of course they are blaming you for whatever set them off. Your clueless.
Imagine having a child that doesn't have emotional responses to your hugs, telling them you love them. A child that talks horrible to you, swears and has fits of rage. Just because something started an episode.
It's hard to imagine someone being 'depressed all the time'.....
Get over it. Cheer up. Smile... oh, it's not so bad, it'll get better.
I broke at one point.
It took some years to start healing. It took a while longer to regain me. And it's been a journey to return to who I am. They say your never the same after trauma. I agree. But you don't have to lose who you are.
Sometimes you have to let go and change the plan, if you want different results. So if your in a rut, start reaching for a different path. One step at a time. Focus forward and keep breathing.
Don't be ashamed to share the dirt! You never know who's life you might save.
I think I've shared this story once......Our family stopped at the rest area, my kids at the picnic table playing cards. Young man walks by they start talking and they invite him to play. A friendship was formed. They shared our sad story and gave him hope for his own. The young man later told us that he was on his way to his car to put the gun to his mouth, when my kids stopped him that night and invited him to play cards..