Hasn't always been the happiest time of the year for me. There have actually been years where the decorations and everything came down the day after if not Christmas day night.
My ex mother in law was a horrible creature that would manage to cause some form of problem for us every year, disrupting Christmas day every time.
After the divorce, my Christmas was divided. Because of previous kidnapping attempts by my ex, I was never able to relax when the kids would go to his family - especially on the holidays!
2nd husbands family wasn't and hasn't ever accepted or treated my kids and myself like family. The disrespect has lasted 30 years and going. His mother was so bad, she would bring presents for him and his son, and hand them out in front of my kids.
I have swallowed so much pain, watching my kids hurt. Watching people hurt my kids, all because they don't like me. There is so much about my life..... fact is - there is only 2 people that know the truth of my life and all of my story. So much is buried. So much has been lied about and distorted. So much my own children don't know and can't understand.
So much more to Christmas past.......
I almost hate Birthdays and holidays the way nobody gets along and there is no normal for the kids. Someone always has to hurt someone's feelings. It really doesn't bother me how much they hurt me, it's my kids and my grandkids that get hurt. Now I have great grandchildren that are being affected...
It never ends.
I did everything I could to protect my children from being hurt.....
Sometimes it feels like failure.
God know my heart and has stood by me through it all. I hope there comes a day He and I can talk about all of it .... with an understanding light. Until then, we do the best we can one day at a time, just try and Focus forward.