I seldom talk about it, I'm not a complainer...
But, I do have my ailments... and I live with them daily. Doctors have given diagnosis and told me " this will be with you the rest of your life ". It's been my choice in how I live with them.
It starts when I was young. I was 8 when I had a near fatal horse accident. The pony I was riding was 'whip shy' and the group of kids riding towards us were using riding crops. We were walking along the edge of a gravel ravine. My pony noticed someone whipping their horse and she reared up. ....
Lost her footing and we rolled over each other 3 times down the steep edge. She landed on her feet with me still on her back. No broken bones for either of us. We walked back to the barn.
Only to discover my neck was all but broken... Stuck.... Fear of being paralyzed the recovery was long and painstaking.
Nose bleeds, migraines, fainting and My neck is still crooked to this day.
At age 18 shortly after my second child was born I took a healthy fall and landed my tailbone across a metal 'tonka truck'. They don't make toys like they used to! My tailbone was bent and continually created complications over time.
In 2006 I had a major collapse and didn't call for medical aid for 3 days, so the diagnosis was a mess.... a 5 day stay in the hospital and I went home with oxygen tanks and tubes strapped to my face.
COPD and this will be with you the rest of your life....
Turns out I had a stroke. My left lung 'froze' for a few days. My hearts a mess because of a lifetime of stress and the high anxiety has given me 'disorders'. Therapy, medication and the right doctors and I was off the oxygen in 4 months.
I inhale a medication into my lungs every day to keep them working.
Medication for my heart. ......
The doctor said when my heart stops and I fall, it's the jolt of falling that restarts it.
Ya, I live with a heart that just stops sometimes... so those daily pills are necessary.
2016 I had another small stroke. More therapy and a deeper look at my life.
I was also diagnosed with 'osteoporosis' and degenerative disc disease in my lower back. Lifting, sitting, standing and walking.... now require pills to help with the pain.
DISABLED.
My body breaking down, my mind getting tired, my heart broken beyond repair....
I wanted to give up and God said....
Buy 2 horses.
One is still with me today. I have went everyday to my horses, whether to just feed them, brush them, ride or work out. I ride bareback mostly and the motions of my horse walking is the best workout for my back relieving the pain. The connection to the horses has healed my heart and given my life a purpose to live.
When I ride we are one.
So here I am. I'm on a variety of pills and off all the machines. I'm back to working .....
If you ask me how I'm doing the answer is "Always good".
You see I'm breathing on my own, walking by my own two legs and I'm taking care of myself. All simple things that shall one day end.
So, Today - I'm good.
Almost 58, a wheel chair potentially in my future...
Riding with a herd of rescue horses was the most uplifting experience...