there is one thing.... that's been hard and very unsatisfying throughout the course of my life ..
I'm still looking for HOME.
As a child my parents moved 17 times in the 14 years I was connected to them. No place felt like home. It was temporary, and yes, I'm a master packer! There was no 'childhood' home to 'go back and visit' as an adult. No childhood memories etched into the walls.
The father of my children made sure the kids and I couldn't settle down and find a place to call home either. I wasn't able to give my kids the 'childhood home' to go back to. The place to build memories. The place to feel safe.
The second time around was us living in the shadows of his childhood home, a house that his mother still acted like she owned. It was never a place we felt like we belonged.
I just long to be in that place that I can feel like "I'm HOME", with all the warm fuzzy feelings that go with it.
