December 23, 2024

Surprise!

 What's the worst thing you can do

 to a person with ANXIETY?


SURPRISE THEM!

1st my Birthday.

Now Christmas.

Why do I react the way I do?


Because they trigger an anxiety attack.

I don't like secrets or surprises.

My heart rate spikes I have chest pains and the panic attacks start happening.

 My mind goes dark, depression takes over...

I see the worst of everything 

and all hope of getting through the event with happiness is Lost. 

I struggle to survive

.. then live with guilt instead of happy memories...

Knowing I have hurt them again.

Having kids has been the hardest part of my life. I am the worst mother ever.

They don't know me or understand me, it's impossible for them to do what would make me happy. 

They do things that a normal person would appreciate.

I have anxiety and PTSD. 

I suffer depression. 

I have self worth issues.

I have phobias about going places I have never been to. 

I have sleep issues and can't sleep in a strange place.

I'm anti social, very private ... Don't like public place events where I am in a spotlight.

I can't do a buffet breakfast with strangers. That would trigger a panic attack. 

Sometimes I say things thinking out loud. Not expecting anyone to act on it. No one hears the But ... I'd rather... 

I have hated my life and how worthless I have become. I've been such a burden on my kids for years. 

I've actually wanted to die for a long time now. I don't understand why God has kept me here. 

This year my birthday and Christmas have now been the worst. They try to do nice things. But my anxiety wins every time. I end up hurting my kids.

I wish I could have been normal.

Spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone this year. Probably going to shut off the phone. 


Blessed by God 
Life hurts @ the Bright Side of the Barn 
Thanks for Stopping by 
Until Next Time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails 

Like what you see at the Bright side of the Barn?