Old vs New ~

 Let's talk about the commandments.

"But, Jesus came and abolished all the old ways and gave us a new way."

And if you continue to read on to Matthew 22:40 ~

"On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Also, in the New Testament - 

Romans 13:9 ~

For this, thou shall not commit adultery, Thou shall not kill, Thou shall not steal,

Thou shall not bear false witness, Thou shall not covet and if there be any other commandment it is briefly comprehend in this, saying, namely, thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself. 

Even in the New Testament - the commandments of old are repeated. 

Jesus came to bring the laws to life, to bring us forgiveness and make the ultimate sacrifice on the alter - for us. He came to give us a spirit, that would give us the power to overcome the temptations. He didn't come to abolish the laws of old. 

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Being a Listener

 I've never been interested in gossip or talking about people. I have shared the highlights of a situation, never mentioning names, or specific details. I'm careful to not reveal or name too much about the situation, to where the only people that know it's their story, know it's their story. 

 I only share when there is a 'lesson to be learned' from it. 

 With that being said; 

 I met up with a friend for breakfast Saturday morning. Almost as soon as I sat down, she tells me ~ he was a narcistic **hole. Mentioning that someone on YouTube did a post describing narcissism and how people use it to manipulate others. {I'm going through a bit of a revelation myself} And in the conversation she's telling me, "How did I not see it and for so long?" {I've asked myself the same question}. 

 The only answer I had was actually a question ~ Do we ever see our own situation in the same light as others who are looking in from the outside. Some would say "It's hard to see from the inside of the fishbowl". 

 You make excuses in the early stages, defending them if you will. When you do finally see someone's flaws/faults, it's usually after you have endured for so long. As time goes on, you begin to realize you're in a bad situation and for many it's hard to get out. They have a way of manipulating your life. Giving you more complications that you would have on your own.

 Many will talk about you, share their opinion with each other and not say anything to you. Pretending everything is cool,. most people are afraid to say anything to you because they think you'll be mad. Usually, you find yourself hurt and upset when you find out you're the one talked about rather than talked to. {I've been accused of 'sabotaging myself to be stuck in the situation', when the person saying it, was part of the reason I was actually stuck where I was!}  Sadly, they started the conversation with "I talked to someone else about how to talk to you". That probably wasn't the smartest way to begin!

 My friend was lucky - he just up and moved out one day while she was at work. No notice, no forwarding address. Just gone and left a hell of a mess behind. I've been helping her discard and clean up the garbage left behind. 3 hard days' work so far, and we are only about half done. But we are seeing progress, which for her is like a light at the end of the darkness. Through it all, she's 'unloading' about the situation and what it was. 

 That was my Saturday, just listening and working on the garbage. 

 Sunday, I helped another friend fight off some blackberry bushes and reclaim part of her yard. The goal is to move the chicken coop and make room for more chickens. A much lighter conversation, we have a good time visiting and working. We tend to forget how old we are and end up over doing it. I ended up getting home in time to cook dinner. My foot hurts like hell now. All in a day's work.

 Just as dinner is done, I get a phone call. {I love phone calls so much more than texting} Another friend asking if I had a couple minutes. The call lasted nearly an hour, she needed to 'bounce something off of someone' and I was the chosen one. It's all good, I don't mind listening. Towards the end of the conversation, she felt better and had more of a perspective of the situation at hand. Thanking me for my 'ear'. I really didn't have any 'miracle answers', I just listened. 

 Sometimes, that's all someone needs. No advice, no answers, just an ear to listen. No opinion, criticism, or judgement. Just an ear. Knowing that your situation won't be the butt of a gossiping ninny. We all know one of them now, don't we? People seem to like to talk about others. "Did you hear about ________?" Like it's what makes the conversation interesting. 

 Seriously, we should have enough of ourselves to talk about, to be interesting, we shouldn't need to talk about others. Just remember if they will talk about them, they are probably talking about you, when you're not there. 

 Well, my weekend was busy, just listening. Guess now it's my turn to chat - that's about enough rambling for tonight, I have a couple mystery shops to do, now that it's dark out. And a busy week ahead. Hope you enjoyed your weekend.  

Blessed by God

Life's busy @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Time to Move

My advice.......

 You did the best you could with the hand you were dealt.

You know you made mistakes, you didn't get the chance to do things right.

You didn't even know 'what was wrong with you' until it was already too late.

You were too busy trying to take care of them and give them the best you could.

Moving away and being alone seems like the most appropriate thing to do.

Forgive yourself, you gave it your best.

Learn to live for you and love yourself.

Blessed by God

Life's a journey @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.

How are You Doing?

 I used to call/text my kids pretty regularly, just to see how they were doing and tell them I loved them. Over time I started to feel like my calls weren't appreciated, from the ones that never responded, or waiting forever to respond. So, I pretty much stopped 'bugging' them. I still check on the one's I hear back from once in a while. 

I try to stay in touch with my grandchildren as well. They have grown full circle and brought some of the most amazing little great grandchildren into the world. Some of them struggle with adulthood in this life others are doing well for themselves and leading a good life. The trials of this world have been harder for them than 'back in the day' when we were raising kids. I often say, "thank God I don't have kids going to school now days". Schools have gone so far downhill. But that is yet another blog to write. 

There are a couple of my kids and grandkids - that all I have to do is text "I love you" and I will get an I love you back fairly soon after. I try not to bug them too much either, one of their partners told me once, 'their live is busy'. Of course, I took it as I was bothering them, so I don't so much anymore. I don't get the call right away when my son gets hurt anymore. At least I get a call, I guess. Bothers me how much distance has come between us. But what can you do. 

You give them birth, give up your life to raise them, always be there for them and then their live just gets too busy to include you. I've heard it from so many friends about their kids. Guess I should feel okay about it, since it isn't only me it happens to. The Bible says that in the last days our children will turn on us, that families will destroy each other and basically fall apart, rather than be close.

People have been dying around me since I was very young. I learned death is unplanned, untimed and doesn't run on an appointment schedule - you never know when it's going to happen to someone you care about. I was 18 and cooking dinner one night, when the call came that my sister had been killed. Hit by a car while walking to town. A walk we had taken many times together. She left 3 small children behind and they grew up without a mother. Gone in an instant.

My mom told me at the funeral, it should have been me. Needless to say, my relationship with my mother was never good and pretty much ended there. I was 5-6 years old when my dad went to the hospital and came home with tubes going in and out of his stomach. Fear of losing him became a part of everyday life. He ended up living until he was 82. My mom kept me away, so I didn't get to spend much time with him after 'adulthood'. Once he passed, I never spoke to her again. She passed a year and a half later. 

Through the course of my life, I gave birth to 4 beautiful babies, along the way I lost 2 others. My first one, I never got to know what that baby would have been - boy or girl. It was before my 'oldest' daughter was born. I also lost my 'first born' son. He was named Christopher. A life I often wonder about. What would he be like now. Why was he the one to lose? The son that came after was never bonded with me. And to this day, he refuses to talk to me. Mind you it was his dad that near beat him to death. His dad's best friend broke into the trailer and saved his life. Yet, He wouldn't tell the authorities so there wasn't much I could do except refuse visitation; he later ran away to live with his dad? 

I've lost friends and family to suicide. Here one day gone the next. Best friends, nephews - accidents and on purpose. My granddaughter lost her father when she was just a year or so old. She never got to know him. They were so mixed up with this life, they really thought leaving was the best idea. 

I've known friends that have lost their own child. The hardest death of all. We all expect to bury our parents but not our children. My babies were young and unborn when I lost them, I couldn't imagine losing them after they were born. After you had years to get to know them. My dad said it at my sister's funeral, losing a child was the hardest thing he ever experienced. 

Have a friend that came home from work one day to find her husband - dead in a chair. No warning, no serious medical condition to worry about. Here one day and gone by nightfall. They had spoken earlier in the day. You spend your life with someone, plan your 'golden years' and the next thing you know, you're planning a funeral and learning to cope with being alone. So many things left undone, because you thought you would have time to do them. 

I've had a couple experiences that "I almost didn't make it". It could have been me - gone. I was almost murdered by my ex and have since survived his threats and repeated attempts. His brother nearly killed me after killing my dog. It was a crazy family; one I was glad to get out of! I saved my children, and I don't think to this day they realize it. I only wish I could have taken my nephews with me, perhaps the one wouldn't have killed himself in his own adulthood. {Their mother was a piece of work too}

I live light and try to keep my 'to do lists' short so when I go, nothing will be needing done. There won't be a ton of crap to dig through or throw away. I've already given the kids the things that they should have and there isn't much left for anyone to want. Doctors told me my heart and lungs are on a day to day, not expected to make it long term. So, I live for today. 

And I look forward to the next phase of life. Hopefully with the Lord. This isn't all there is, and so many don't realize there are consequences to follow.

If you love and care about someone, don't hesitate to pick up your phone and call them. Texting is okay, but I'm sure hearing your voice would mean so much more. By you hearing their voice, you would be able to know if they are really "Okay" or just saying it so you don't know how they really are. 

"How are you doing?" So simple and only takes a minute to say. "I love you" can go a long way.

You will regret the day you get the call, and you pick up the phone to hear. 

"It's too late, they are gone". 

Blessed by God,

We're still breathing @ the Bright side of the barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy trails.

Giving Up on People

 

There comes a time, 

when you have had enough. 

Enough of the lies,

Enough of the opinions,

Enough of the judgements,

Enough of the hurt,

Enough of the pain. 

There comes a time, 

when you have to give up.

Give up on them caring,

Give up on them understanding,

Give up on them loving,

Give up on them wanting you,

Give up on them being there.

There comes a time 

when you realize - You don't matter.

You don't matter when you hurt,

You don't matter when your sad,

You don't matter even though you care,

You don't matter if your here or gone,

You don't matter enough for them to be there.

There comes a time, 

when you realize it doesn't count.

It doesn't count that you were always there,

It doesn't count that you sacrificed everything,

It doesn't count that you always put them first,

It doesn't count that you love them,

It doesn't count that you did your best. 

There comes a time, 

when you have to let go.

Let go of the pain,

Let go of the anger,

Let go of the hurt,

Let go of the caring,

Let go of the people.

There comes a time, 

when you realize you can only do your best.

Do your best to love,

Do your best to provide,

Do your best to care,

Do your best to be there, 

Do your best to be your best.

There comes a time, you realize 

your best wasn't good enough.

Doing what's right wasn't good enough,

Always forgiving wasn't good enough,

Giving chance after chance wasn't good enough,

Sacrificing yourself wasn't good enough. 

Not everyone in life will appreciate you,

Not everyone will care about you,

Not everyone will understand you, 

Not everyone will love you,

Not everyone wants you. 

Give up on people being your happiness. 

Give up on people loving you as much as you love them.

Give up on people being there when you need lifted up.

Give up on people being your reason to live.

Give up on people understanding you. 

Life can be a cold dark place, loveless, misunderstood, stepped on, walked over.

You can't count on other people to be your happiness,

You have to count on you, 

to do your best, 

be your best and 

Give it your all. 

Give up on people being what you need.

You need to believe in YOU.

A long ago unpublished poem ..

Blessed by God

Life's beautiful @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Choices - Decisions

You wake up every morning with choices to make, and your decisions affect everything around you, whether you realize it or not. Today, tomorrow and beyond.

I highly recommend starting the day with prayer!  I have come to rediscover that asking God first - "What shall I do?" Tends to lead my decisions in a better direction. I have always asked God "What do I do?" but more often than not, it's while in the midst of a situation. 

Being in a reactive position rather than a proactive position.

If any of this sounds familiar, that's probably the title of a past blog ~ Reactive vs Proactive.

How we make decisions on the choices before us, often depends on if we are being 'reactive' or 'proactive'. 

Reactive ~ Some people are reactive to everything, from simple comments to big catastrophic events. For others, it tends to be the more common response when things are urgent, or accidental. Life is less planned and more responsive. Often caught 'off guard' in many situations, with less of a plan, scrambling to overcome the obstacles. Reactive people tend to wait for things to happen before trying to do 'something about it'. Often resulting in negative circumstances.

Proactive ~ Folks appear slower to respond to simple comments as well as catastrophic events. They think about it and analyze before responding. Even in the urgency of an accident, they are usually calmer and more coordinated. Life is more planned out with an A, B or C plan. Not to be caught 'off guard' as often and manage to overcome the circumstances. Proactive people tend to plan for things that could happen, doing things to prevent 'something negative happening'. Allowing a positive result from a negative circumstance, more often than not.

Some things are unpreventable -

accidents, natural occurrences, injuries and even death.  

Everyone responds differently. The most proactive people can become the most reactive, while the most reactive people can take on a proactive approach in the matter. 

There is more often than not a multiple-choice answer to every circumstance, and every situation. Every decision we make - could go one way or the other for a good outcome or bad. 

We are faced with choices and forced to make decisions every day. Some light - others heavy. Some small and trivial while others are big and life changing. No matter how hard we try to keep them to ourselves. Whether we can see it or not, our decisions affect those around us. Sometimes affecting people, we don't even know or have never seen. 

A simple example ~ A donation to a charity, is a choice and decision that affects someone you don't even know. Choosing not to donate, has an alternate effect, whether you can see it or not. 

Deciding factors ~ weighing in the key elements and variables of a decision:

Example ~ Should I sell my house and move?  A series of questions and answers. How is the housing market? How long will it take to sell? Will I get enough to buy again? Am I moving away from family or closer to family? What's wrong with here and better about there? Why do I want to sell my house? Who all will it affect? 

Should I sell or stay here? Big choice - The decision is complicated. 

Personally, my life has had multiple circumstances and situations where I had no say or choice in decisions and was left with nothing but a 'reactive' response. As a child for example, you have little say in the choices your parents make and find yourself trying to adapt to the decisions they have made. Sometimes reactive other times proactive. You still are faced with a choice in your decision on how you are going to deal with the circumstances. 

I believe the things that happen to us during childhood, often mold the direction our behavior is going to take. Either as a proactive or reactive choice in matters. Either way ~ you are constantly faced with choices and the decisions you make will map out the path of your future in life. 

When I chose to get a divorce, it was a proactive response to a negative situation. After living 11 years being reactive to circumstances, I had no control over. Again, I find myself in a negative situation that I live 'reactively' while I'm trying to get away from it, taking proactive approach. 

Sometimes other people's choices and decisions affect your own choices and decisions. A man chooses to mistreat his wife, she wants to leave, and people will often input and affect her thinking - "oh he's not so bad, I feel sorry for him." Not taking your personal pain into consideration. OR "why are you still with him? he's a horrible person" Not understanding it's not so easy to just pack up and leave. 

There is nothing worse than being accused of 'sabotaging' yourself to stay with someone you are desperately trying to get away from. Often situations are not only your choice, and the decision is affected by what others do. 

I have found myself with 3 choices coming up the end of May. I desperately want to move alone. One choice would help me and someone else, however if I'm not alone, I'm afraid of the damage it will do to someone else's life. The original choice I can't afford unless I have a partner. I know either way, my life complicated. The 3rd choice is to move back into the truck.? 

Sounds cold I know. 

But I can't keep living with someone that has no respect for me.

Not all choices are easy, and decisions always affect others as well as yourself.

Which is why, I highly suggest starting each day - with God - Asking "What shall we do today?" Instead of waiting until we have to ask, "What now?"

Blessed by God

Life can be complicated @ the Bright Side of the Barn.

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

It's all about the Numbers

 All Time-228301 Today-65 Yesterday-438 This Month-2108 Last Month-9225.....

Every time I see these numbers it just blows me away at how many people read my blog. After deleting every other blog, I had written - I started this one in 2019, to help myself heal.

I only had 3 entities living with me at the time - Me - Myself - and I. I didn't even think God was with me during those dark days. {1+1+1=3}

I had hurt my oldest daughters feeling, it was hard on all of us with where we had to live and how we had to live. They were able to move out and move on. My youngest daughter I don't think has ever liked me. My son was lost in his own life issues listening to lies about me and trying to figure things out. My oldest son walked out of my life years ago to embrace the man that beat him? Something I will never understand. {4}

Did my damned to be a good mom, and apparently, I had failed. Somehow, I had hurt the ones that meant the most to me. Our relationships have never been the same as when we were all together, and they weren't listening to the lies, and I wasn't going through the mental abuse that currently plagued my life. {1st}

I went to delete this blog once and within a couple days, I received emails from readers telling me it had become part of their healing as well. I was touched. This was raw and not advertised; I didn't know so many folks had found it and were reading it. There wasn't any 'comments' back then, I had no clue what others thought. So, after much thought and deliberation I republished it and have kept going, wow, here we are 2025!

It's me talking to myself, because I am the only one that would tell me to keep breathing when I needed to hear it the most. Like I said, it was some dark days.

After a few years of everyone talking about me, saying I had 'this or that'. With doctors saying, 'this is what you have' or 'that is what you have', I finally found a doctor that could explain to me, 'what happened to me'.

I finally knew what happened. I had a minor stroke in 2006. Enough loss of oxygen to the brain and a paralyzed portion of my chest - explained the oxygen issues and the COPD; as well as the memory and thinking issues - common with strokes. I wasn't the same and had to accept I never would be.

Sometimes I think back to the night I wrecked my truck and almost got killed ~ Asking myself ~ Was I trying to kill myself? I don't normally do things that stupid. I had never in my life had a 'major car accident' it was my first. My first ambulance ride, my first hit so hard it knocked me out, my first totaled truck. My first handful of broken bones.

Subconsciously did I do it on purpose? I asked myself that a thousand times. Knowing I really didn't think the other truck was that close. I didn't see him until it was too late. His headlight on the right side wasn't working. It was a dark rainy night.

I have struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide when I was young. After having my babies - I knew I had to live to at least see them grown. I wasn't going to leave them in the world that was around us.

My second marriage led to much mental abuse, much of it I hid from everyone. They didn't see or hear what I was going through for the most part. It did get so bad; they finally were able to hear some of it. Making it even harder for me. I struggled with suicide as my only way out of the situation. {2nd}

Divorce wasn't an option with someone who has a personality disorder. They can change who they are in an instant. Unpredictable and slanderous, it would have been dangerous to try and go to court with him and I couldn't afford an attorney.

Life has been a roller coaster since, with a lot of ups and downs. I've wrote some blogs, published them and then deleted them within hours sometimes minutes. When I created the Bright side of the Barn, my goal was to think positive. Look at the bright side of every situation. No matter how dark a day is, I always have something to be thankful for. Always a reason to keep going and wake up tomorrow, praying it's going to get better.

Some days it has, other days it feels like it's gotten worse. No matter what, I've found something good about every day. So glad I bought the horses!

It started with StarBright and Buddy, {2}

Then came Odessa, then Angel. {3-4}

Financially things got rough,

I made the choice to rehome Odessa and Angel {-2=2}

A couple days later - Buddy had to be put down. {2-1=1}

It became just StarBright and I, we both think about them often.

Then along came Lil Star {Lil horse} {1+1=2}

Then Polaris. {2+1=3}

Polaris was too much and too dangerous for the grandkids,

So he went back to the rescue. {3-1=2}

It was StarBright, Lil Star and I. {2}

Then Lil Star went on to help a children's group. {2-1=1}

Within a year they brought her back. {1+1=2}

Recently Lil Star went on to a fellow horse person, that just became a grandma.

It's StarBright and I. {2-1=1}

And it will be until the end.

She's turning 28 this year and I will be 61.

My horse has been the best therapist of all. No judgement, no criticism, no condemnation, no opinion. Just love, companionship and understanding.

She has restored my confidence in myself, and she challenges my fears.

She's amazing at knowing when I'm feeling low or needing a push.

She's what I need the most - she's loyal and committed -

I never have to worry about her turning on me or against me.

Here we are {4} kids later, {10} Grandchildren and {4} Great Grandchildren

{1} Stepson and {2} Step Grandchildren. {2} failed marriages

All in {1} life.!

2019 to 2025 ~ As of today ~ 229,182 ~ views here at the

Bright side of the Barn. It still blows me away at how many people read this blog. I hope it's helped someone out there somewhere. Sometimes I wish I could have started it sooner.

I've had my brothers and others constantly telling me "You should write a book" "Nobody would believe the 'shit' you have been through and what's all happened to you. Most of all, everyone needs to see how you've survived and gotten through it." and that includes a therapist!

Blessed by God

Life's amazing @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

It's Our Problem

 To think I used to be a 'shy quiet kid'.

You can only take so much before you have to be the one speaking out.

Why have I endured homelessness in my life?

So I can be the voice for those that can't speak.

Years ago when my 5 children were young living at home, we would have a houseful at Thanksgiving. Single friends and family would join us. The news came on ~

It was a story about a body being found frozed to death in a dumpster. A homeless person had crawled into the dumpster in Seattle to stay warm and froze to death.

That story has stuck with me. I wondered 'how do people end up homeless?' A question I never should have asked God. Because over the last 20 years I have come to know about 20 different reasons of 'how people end up homeless'. Because I have had to endure homelessness.

I thank God for my past and my experience in the situation. It has enabled me to see the problems. It has enabled me to know what some of the solutions could be.

During the past 20 years the problem has become an explosion in our country, not just in the larger cities. It's everywhere.

Why? How? What can we do about it?

Stop wasting money on these 'homeless' programs where the money is going to the self endulging people claiming to run the programs. It isn't helping the homeless people.

ANSWERS

Make housing affordable. Cost of living and rent prices should co exist not compete.

More Section 8 vouchers to more people, the waiting lists are ridiculous.

Make housing accessible. The requirement for rentals exceeds the average family's income making them 'not qualify'.

Reduce the requirements. Background checks ok. But your credit shouldn't be a factor when in comes to housing, your rental history should. Folks choose paying rent over paying their bills to keep a roof over their head.

Limit rental increases, the longer a person rents, the rent should go DOWN not UP. They are paying the mortgage, for someone else to benefit.

Create mental health care facilities for those that can't live independently.

Create laws that allow authorities to place people into those facilities, when an assessment deems it appropriate.

Create in patient drug treatment facilities and vote for laws that mandate judges to be allowed to sentence people to the treatment facilities.

Outpatient drug programs are a waste of money. IN PATIENT 365 days MINIMUM.

These are just my opinions and ideas - but I bet they would create a decrease in the homeless population and help create more people's ability to contribute to society rather then take from it.

Blessed by God

Life's good at the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Best Buddies

 

I was sent a picture of my girl and her new best buddy, waiting for breakfast this morning. She has become quite comfortable in her new place and is very happy to be in with other horses. The bonding between these two has been amazing. 

To think the first day, Nova was very upset that a new horse had entered her domain, expressing her feelings by bucking and back kicking between them. Now they are inseparable. 

She's shedding out really well. I can rub her and have the hairs fall out. - lol - We've done about 5-6 total brush outs and left the field full of pony fuzz for the birds. She's starting to look like a horse and not so much a wooly mammoth! 

Her beautiful chestnut fur is starting to come in and looking good as usual. I can't wait until she's fully shedded and the weather is warm enough for the first spring bathe! She's so beautiful, it's hard to believe she's turning 28 this year. She still acts like she's a teenager {maybe 15-16}. 

I firmly believe that the more times a horse changes owners, they lose years off of their life. My girl has only had 2 owners. Her original owner - where she was born - and ME. I've seen so many younger horses look so much older and have so many health problems. Their history is of multiple owners and frequent changes in ownership, I strongly believe contributes to the decline in their health. 

Horses, dogs, cats and any other 'pet' are like children. They are part of your family and should be for their entire life. You wouldn't sell your kids when they become older or disabled. Why would you get rid of your animals? 

Blessed by God

Life's beautiful today @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

It Takes TWO

 It's really hard to talk to someone, that shuts down, changes the subject, goes and takes a nap or straight up ignores the subject.

"She yells at me" - Take responsibility for your actions

and stop ignoring her and blaming her for them ~

Then maybe she wouldn't yell at you.

Stop procrastinating and do the right thing before it's too late!

Maybe then she wouldn't be pushing you before you lose everything.

"I don't want to talk about that" - "Why you always bringing that up?"

Um.. because it's unresolved and needs dealt with?

And they all wonder why you are the way you are.?
I personally feel sorry for you, not them.
It's mental abuse what they are doing to you.
Pack your bags and walk away!
Let everyone think they are the victim; we know the truth.

This explains it better than I ever could. I was told someone sounded like a narcissist. I didn't know what that meant exactly. So, I asked a couple folks. They gave me this

All I could say was WOW! That explains a lot in my world.

I once told a therapist that I feel like I'm the monster, everyone thinks I'm the bad guy.

Therapist told me, I'm in a reactive state to what has happened to me. I didn't make myself that way, I was forced into it to survive.

Survive

That's what my life boils down to....

I've had to survive, not thrive.

It's pathetic when you think about it. Years of 'I forgot' when it comes to your birthday or an anniversary. Not giving a damn about how YOU feel about something, just doing things their own way no matter who it hurts.

Always being put down and pushed back.

No respect.

Taking credit for your good deeds and blaming you for their mistakes.

"I should just kill myself" when they don't get their way or things are not going the way they want them to. They make you want to kill yourself just to get away from it, because you don't see any way out! {Sadly, I had a friend that did just that to get away from someone} I've felt the same way many times. Like death is the only way to get away from the situation.

Especially when people feel sorry for them and not you. You wish just once someone would see your pain. "Why is she such a bitch". {I've heard that said about so many woman friends.} Well, if you knew the truth about how the asshole treats her, when nobody is around, you might understand why after all these years she's a bitch.

You just have to break down and be the bad guy

- WALK AWAY - SAVE YOURSELF -

because they are never going to change, and they are never going to do right by you. They only think about themselves, and they don't care who it hurts.

They turn everyone against you - so really - you have nothing left to lose -

It's time for you to think about YOURSELF - WALK AWAY -

Blessed by God

Life's going to be better after the resurrection!

Thanks for stopping by @ The Bright Side of the Barn.

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Mystery Shoppers Needed!

 Mystery shoppers are needed around our area for a variety of shops! Such as - Bank shops, Hotel shops, Event shops, Restaurant shops, Inventory and Pricing Audits, and of course my favorite - On site Inspections! Many pay a small compensation as well as reimbursement, additionally some pay for your 'gas' to get there. I'm currently being offered $50 for a shop and $50 for the gas - to go to Yakima for an inspection. {Unfortunately, my vehicle isn't up for the trip} Do you like Applebees? A free Brown Bear car wash? Apply for a credit card and earn $160! So many different opportunities to get paid for things you already do! Bar shops and Live entertainment shops if you like going to the movies or concerts. Oil changes up to $140! Yep, a free oil change for your car. Do you like to 'test drive' new cars? Those are always fun! grocery stores, get a partial discount on your shopping. The opportunities are endless!

I currently work with over 40 companies.

You pick the assignments you want from a job board.

If your selected, you will receive complete instructions

to perform the 'shop'. 

When you get done, go home,

     get on the computer and input your answers.

Most questionnaires are short and simple,

     some require a narrative.

Most shops pay the month following the shops. 

As the companies need to get paid by the clients

     before they can pay you.

PayPal is the most common payment method,

It's good to use your PayPal card to make the purchases,

     helps you keep track of your expenses and earnings.

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails

Armed and Ready!

 

Today's Scripture ~ Isaiah 54:17 ~ 

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper.

My faith has been in God, my whole life - through it all and in every situation. 

It doesn't matter what people say behind your back, or the lies they tell. Focus forward has been my driving determination. Hold no grudges, seek no revenge.

If you are striving on your relationship with God, putting on the Armour as the scripture tells us ~ God will have your back.  in every situation of life. 

I remember my ex used to get so frustrated in court. 

I hardly had to do anything, and the judge would 'take my side'.  

I was telling the 'truth'. 

Judges try to find the truth in a matter and that's the way they rule. 

One judge challenged the 'guardian' that stated the kids would be safer with the ex and I needed 'drug treatment'. The judge warned him he could lose his job, as the judge was looking at my ex's 7 DUI's where I had nothing on my record. 

Another time the judge threatened his sister with perjury charges as she was clearly lying in court.  {A situation where I dropped the charges, explaining to the judge the matter had occurred over a year prior, and I could see no benefit to anyone by pursuing the matter.}

And finally, when a judge asked him why I should get a protection order this time ~ his response was to double up his fists on the table and inform the judge that 'he HATED me'. 

Needless to say, I was granted a 'permanent protection order'.  

Some 20 years later he kept asking the kids to ask me to drop the order. 

Something I did try to do, but the judge told me ~

" I wasn't the one he was worried about; it was my ex he needed to see in court to make a decision. There had been no remorse and no restitution for the damages he had done to my life."

I explained I had no address for my ex, he refused to give it to me, so I had no way to serve him the necessary papers to drop the order. 

The judge said, "He deserved to still have the order if he couldn't give me an address to serve him."

It wasn't my fault the order stood for over 20 years; 

it was his own stupidity.

Throughout all of it, God protected me and my children. 

My 'gut' feelings were the Holy Ghost telling me what I needed to do. 

• I followed the 'feeling' and have been blessed to watch 
• all of my children turn into wonderful adults, {5}
• I've met all my grandchildren, {10} and 
• I even have some great grandchildren {4} in my life. 

My ex's 2 biggest threats were 

~ "I'm going to kill you" followed by several attempts to do it. 

And after his second marriage both he and his wife would tell my children

~ "We have a bullet with your mom's name on it".

Statements that would have landed him in prison if I would have pursued the issue.

God said ~ Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay. 

I've stood on my faith in that scripture my whole life, and at 60 

I'm alive and proof God keeps His word. 

I never did anything to retaliate, harm or cause my ex any problems, not even a threat. I even had the past due child support reduced due to an error in an 'overpayment'!

My own case worker told me I didn't need to do that, I was truly entitled to the money. But I wanted things done right. I achieved a lot of respect from the office of support enforcement. 

It didn't matter to me -

if it was my benefit or my loss - I wanted things done right. 

I focused forward on what was important ~

~ Loving the Lord and raising my children to be good people.

Put on the Armour of God and trust the scriptures

"Vengeance in mine sayeth the Lord, I will repay."

He truly does have your Back!

Blessed by God

Life's beautiful @ the Bright Side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.