Settling In

 Miss Chanelle wishes everyone a Lucky St Patricks day.!

When I first came to the house, I had to make the difficult choice of sending Tux and Sylvester to a Kitty Rescue, to find them new homes. As I was only supposed to bring 2 pets with me, Miss Chanelle and Cleopatra.

 Cleo was a bit lost with this being her first time as the 'only cat'. She found herself getting comfort by hanging with Chanelle. I could tell she missed the boys as much as I

 

Sylvester was getting depressed at the rescue while Tux was adapting fairly well. They had been fighting which was part of the reason I decided to find them new homes, separate from each other. I was having a bit of separation anxiety myself. With sending the 2 boys away, I also sold my pony. It was difficult to deal with so much loss at the time. I found myself wanting Sylvester to come home, while Tux was found a wonderful new home through the rescue. In the end it worked out best for both boys. {I still miss Tux, but pray he is enjoying being an 'only cat' and getting all the attention}

Meanwhile, Sylvester has shown himself to be quite overjoyed to be home. Back with his 'mom'. He stays pretty close to me wherever I happen to be. Once in a while I hear him with his 'still a baby' cry, I wonder if he's calling to his brother. But he does seem to be getting more content just playing with Cleo and Chanelle. 

Him and Chanelle have found a way to share 'mom' and 

often, I find myself being hugged while we are resting together. 

The pony is doing well at her new home, and I do believe I found her a wonderful new home. A dear friend who has become like a sister to me, has helped me move my horse Miss StarBright to board at her house. Rather than be alone, as I know my horse and pony were somewhat bonded, she now has 2 full size horse friends, Nova and Whinnie, and I do believe she's enjoying the company.

It was interesting to watch them the first day. We started with StarBright in the backyard away from the other 2, and all 3 hung out close to each other through the fence. But when we put StarBright in with them, the black one "Nova" got really upset and charged around bucking and kicking with her. So that night we locked StarBright in her stall and the other 2 hung out just outside of her stall. The white horse, "Whinnie" stood outside her stall all night and would keep herself between Nova and StarBright. The next day we let them all out together and there was no more charging or bucking and kicking. 

Over the course of the last few weeks, Whinnie has went back to being on her own, as I'm told she prefers to be alone, and Nova and StarBright have become buddies. Nova likes to lay down everyday and StarBright and Whinnie seem to stand guard over her as she rests. Just the other day we found StarBright finally laying down as well, which tells me, she has become comfortable an relaxed. We are looking forward to going riding together this summer as the 2 seem to have become so close, it should be a lot of fun! 

After living in the truck for 9 months, we are all getting adjusted to 'being in a house'. It has taken a while to get comfortable, and slowly I'm losing the 'feeling' of 'we have to go' and 'keep moving'. I've managed to be able to sit in one place for most of the day now. It's hard to explain, and unless you've had to 'live on the move' it's hard to understand. It's nice not to have to worry about 'where are we going to park' at night, and do we have the gas to keep everyone warm, as this was winter. What are we going to do about tomorrow. 

After 9 months of eating 'fast food' it's been nice to have 2 months of 'cooking' and 'eating' home cooked food. Real food, rather than 'fast food'. If I never see a McDonalds 'meal deal' again, It won't bother me a bit. I've only ate out once since being here, that was at 'Jersey Mikes' as I love the subs!! 

Showers every day and a bathroom with privacy are so nice. Not having to 'stay with anyone' and disrupt anyone else's lives has been nice. Not having to borrow or go without has been a blessing. It's still a financial struggle, as now instead of 'keeping' gas in the truck and buying food every day on top of everything else. Now I'm paying rent, power, gas and garbage bills, on top of everything else. 

Plus, the number of prescriptions and doctors have increased dramatically in the 2 months while I've been here. His weeklong stay in the hospital has added to the ever-growing medical bills and the amount of stress on my shoulders. 

All is still a blessing and I'm eternally grateful to the folks that have helped through this dark time. My kids have done so much for me I am most grateful to them and will probably never be able to undo the damages I've caused .  Blessed with a few wonderful friends that have been a God send as well. I'm starting to trust people again, cautiously and slowly, but consistently.  There are still good people in this world besides the 4 - I gave birth too! 

Sadly, for a long time, my kids were really all I had to count on or trust. I have been burnt by so many 'friends' I had given up on folks beyond being an 'acquaintance'.

Sometimes, I've felt like the kids would have been better off without me around. They have shown me that is not how they feel. Hopefully the hurt I've caused them will someday go away, and they will understand the overwhelming anxiety I've been through and all it's done to me and my health, both physically and mentally.

Still in boxes with nothing on the walls, as this is only a temporary situation, it is not HOME yet. I don't know what God's plan is from here going forward. I only know it a day-by-day journey.  God knows my heart and knows I would prefer to move into an RV to live out the remainder of life. He knows my struggles with the 'situation' of being a caregiver to someone that has not done me well in this life. I pray daily for the answers and for my family to heal. 

The last year has been a lot to endure. Actually, the last 60 years have been a lot to endure. I can only hope the next 30-60 will be the reward for my endurance. For now, we are settling in and looking forward to brighter days and hopefully less financial struggling.

Blessed by God

LIfe's a journey @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.