Being a Listener

 I've never been interested in gossip or talking about people. I have shared the highlights of a situation, never mentioning names, or specific details. I'm careful to not reveal or name too much about the situation, to where the only people that know it's their story, know it's their story. 

 I only share when there is a 'lesson to be learned' from it. 

 With that being said; 

 I met up with a friend for breakfast Saturday morning. Almost as soon as I sat down, she tells me ~ he was a narcistic **hole. Mentioning that someone on YouTube did a post describing narcissism and how people use it to manipulate others. {I'm going through a bit of a revelation myself} And in the conversation she's telling me, "How did I not see it and for so long?" {I've asked myself the same question}. 

 The only answer I had was actually a question ~ Do we ever see our own situation in the same light as others who are looking in from the outside. Some would say "It's hard to see from the inside of the fishbowl". 

 You make excuses in the early stages, defending them if you will. When you do finally see someone's flaws/faults, it's usually after you have endured for so long. As time goes on, you begin to realize you're in a bad situation and for many it's hard to get out. They have a way of manipulating your life. Giving you more complications that you would have on your own.

 Many will talk about you, share their opinion with each other and not say anything to you. Pretending everything is cool,. most people are afraid to say anything to you because they think you'll be mad. Usually, you find yourself hurt and upset when you find out you're the one talked about rather than talked to. {I've been accused of 'sabotaging myself to be stuck in the situation', when the person saying it, was part of the reason I was actually stuck where I was!}  Sadly, they started the conversation with "I talked to someone else about how to talk to you". That probably wasn't the smartest way to begin!

 My friend was lucky - he just up and moved out one day while she was at work. No notice, no forwarding address. Just gone and left a hell of a mess behind. I've been helping her discard and clean up the garbage left behind. 3 hard days' work so far, and we are only about half done. But we are seeing progress, which for her is like a light at the end of the darkness. Through it all, she's 'unloading' about the situation and what it was. 

 That was my Saturday, just listening and working on the garbage. 

 Sunday, I helped another friend fight off some blackberry bushes and reclaim part of her yard. The goal is to move the chicken coop and make room for more chickens. A much lighter conversation, we have a good time visiting and working. We tend to forget how old we are and end up over doing it. I ended up getting home in time to cook dinner. My foot hurts like hell now. All in a day's work.

 Just as dinner is done, I get a phone call. {I love phone calls so much more than texting} Another friend asking if I had a couple minutes. The call lasted nearly an hour, she needed to 'bounce something off of someone' and I was the chosen one. It's all good, I don't mind listening. Towards the end of the conversation, she felt better and had more of a perspective of the situation at hand. Thanking me for my 'ear'. I really didn't have any 'miracle answers', I just listened. 

 Sometimes, that's all someone needs. No advice, no answers, just an ear to listen. No opinion, criticism, or judgement. Just an ear. Knowing that your situation won't be the butt of a gossiping ninny. We all know one of them now, don't we? People seem to like to talk about others. "Did you hear about ________?" Like it's what makes the conversation interesting. 

 Seriously, we should have enough of ourselves to talk about, to be interesting, we shouldn't need to talk about others. Just remember if they will talk about them, they are probably talking about you, when you're not there. 

 Well, my weekend was busy, just listening. Guess now it's my turn to chat - that's about enough rambling for tonight, I have a couple mystery shops to do, now that it's dark out. And a busy week ahead. Hope you enjoyed your weekend.  

Blessed by God

Life's busy @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.