Should I stay or Should I go

 After several years of marriage and raising a family, your husband gets in a car accident and is now paralyzed.. Do you divorce him because of the burdens?

 After several years of marriage, my husband was diagnosed 'bipolar 1' with multiple personality 'traits' and 'manic episodes'.

 {A mental disorder}.

 Now because he's been a burden in many ways and can be quite unpleasant to live with. Do I divorce him because it's hard?

 Many ask why I stayed, why put up with the abuse, why tolerate the pain associated with the abusive behavior. Why put my children through it all. I wanted a divorce for many years.... this was an internal and external struggle.

 But, we wanted to find him help so he could know what was wrong and get better. We could see that something was 'wrong'. So I stayed in the fight.

 If this were your child, you wouldn't even think about it, you would just take care of them and take the blows 'like a good mom does'. 

 So he's my husband. Should it be any different?

 So so many people out on the streets are suffering undiagnosed mental disorders and have no help because 'family' either didn't know how or didn't want to or didn't have the resources... 

 I didn't want to see him in such a state of being. So I fought with him until he got help. I've been slandered I've been called a 'monster' and had a lot of things said about me that are untrue. His family is the worst! of all people. and I'm hated Because I stayed in the fight, which ultimately saved his life. {suicide is a big thing for people struggling to understand their own mental disorders..}

 It isn't a 'relationship' it's more of a 'situation'. There hasn't been a lot of happy times and financially it's a struggle, because bi polar people have a hard time managing money. And there are many days, he has to miss work because he's not 'checked in'. This happens with mental disorders. 

 It took years for him to see a doctor and be honest with them so he could be properly diagnosed. The road from there has been rocky. Getting the right medications has been good and finding the right therapist would be nice.

 There are still the occasional episodes, however much less volcanic. 

 There are good times, and steady days. 

We like that .... Steady days. 

 There is much happiness and good times playing with the grandchildren. He's a hard worker and good at his job. There's a new house with lots to do.... {As long as life is consistent without changes, he's good} 

 Happiness is a feeling of choice that you make for yourself. 

So it really doesn't matter what your facing in life, you can choose to be happy in it. Life isn't always easy and things are going to happen and change the course of your journey. 

Will you be stiff and break or like a willow branch and bend.? 

Or just straight up 'run for the hills!'

or a 'rock' that people come from miles to lean on because you've become so strong from 'life'......

a 'lighthouse' in the dark...

Everything happens for a reason, sometimes, God's just training you for the next mission

Blessed by God 

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.

360

It's a different view from up here. 

Gives you a different perspective. 

I went to the doctors the other day. She says I've come a complete 360 from where I was when we met almost a decade ago. 

My health has stabilized rather than continue down hill. 

My bones can't get 'better' but they can slow down from getting worse. Just as my lung can't get any 'better,' but it can stop getting worse. 

My mental health... 

well, I have my mind back.

 Now that could be dangerous for a few others, it's good news for me. 

The last therapist left the office almost a year ago. I refused to start over. This was the 3rd time around with a new therapist, starting back at the beginning and moving forward. This one was awesome. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was getting the right advice. I was able to 'get over' a lot of mountains in my life. I haven't needed to go back.

Someday, I hope to run into her again and let her know, she was a life changer. I hope where ever she went she stayed in the profession, because there are not that many good therapists out there. 

The BIG difference in my life, the one thing that has helped me heal in so many ways.....

.....On the tangible level. 

Spiritually

God is always the number one in my life.

The one thing that has helped me the absolute most to  'overcome' my mountains, 'endure' the situations life throws on us, and 'keep going' to find true 'happiness' ....

is.. 

The horses. 

{Truly they are a gift from God to us humans}

My life changed once I got my StarBright and Buddy {RIP}. 

It's continued to improve, with each new mare. Lil Star has brought much magic with her personality. 

These girls made the difference. They are my reason to get up. They are the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. They are 'where my money goes' {along with many grandchildren}.. They are my heart {along with many grandchildren}. 

Age plays a factor, but it doesn't determine the facts in life. 

To hear my doctor say I've made a complete 360, means 'you can see the difference'. 

When she said "You look good", my only thought and response was, "I feel good".  And I haven't been able to say that for a long time!!

Angels come in the form of horses and carry you on their wings.

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay safe and Happy Trails.