He's an amazing Man.
We met 32 years ago. Together we brought up 5 children and currently enjoy most of the 11 grandchildren together. All relationships have their ups and downs. Ours went to hell and back. One ex an alcoholic the other a drug addict. We didn't get to be the hero's we'd hoped to be for all of the children. We did our best and for the most part, they understand and have grown up strong.
He had a major set back several years ago. Most woman would have completely left and shut the door. No one should have endured the abuse. Me.... I had to understand what happened. I had to understand why this man went from point A to point Z. I knew something was wrong.
Eventually reaching a breaking point, we separated twice. Once a period of years living in 2 different countries. An attempt to reunite ended after only a few years of joint habitation.
After many many trials and struggles, over several years... he finally found a doctor, a place that understood and the journey to begin to get some answers.
Bi Polar 1 with psychotic episodes, and a touch of associative identity disorder.
AND THAT explains a LOT!
So therapy, medication and much learning on all of us. Things began to get better
Everything including stress, circumstances, now medications.... the body goes through hell.
He's been bleeding internally off and on over the past year. He's having stomach problems and prostrate issues..
So finally a colonoscopy.
They took FOREVER, over an hour... and today we got the final word.
The polyt they removed was the cancerous type. Had he waited any longer... He had a blood clot on his intestine and has several other smaller things going on...
Colon cancer shadows our lives now. HIs father died young at 54 of cancer.
Our relationship now is more care giver for one another. Helping when needed, with little expectations in return. Being there is more important than being 'happy'. {If you live with someone that has a mental disability you understand 'happy'.}
Financially stressed and the future clouded, life has become a greater uphill climb than it was before.
May is mental health awareness month. Mental health and physical health are connected. They are part of the same body. We need to be more openly willing to take about the mental/emotional side of 'self'.
That concludes the blog for today....I do apologize for not writing as often as I should. I get the thoughts when I'm driving and when I get home, I sleep.... life has been very tiring on me lately.
The sun is out, I need to go visit my horses. The weather here has been horribly wet and cold. I work crazy hours and sleep a lot more than I want to, and it's my day off.... I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and be kind to those who struggle.
