It's Officially "Over the Hill" now.

 

My oldest Daughter is turning 43 Saturday. 

I was thinking about things, how long I've been a mother....

All the events that have brought our family to here and now. What we've been through together.

She was my first born and the child that taught me what it means to be a mom.

She was born shortly before Mother's Day. Making it extra special for both of us. 

In the midst of all the reminiscing I realize I'm turning 59 this year, not 58. I lost a year. I think when things like this start happening you can safely say  

"I'm over the hill". 

Getting older does not feel like I expected or thought it would. I was giving COPD diagnosis at 41, had a couple minor strokes between 40 and 50... I've already felt 'really old.' Already had to 'prepare' as if 'life was over'. Doctors didn't give me another 10 years with my lungs and heart. The high blood pressure was through the roof back then and my body was tired. 

So I'm just not sure I feel like my age yet. I feel younger now than I did then. I don't think I have ever 'felt my age'. The mirror reminds me I'm old. lol. I worked hard to get my lungs back and I've made a lot of changes to my life to reduce the stress. So far the blood pressure is much closer to normal rather than close to the end. Oxygen levels are okay. The doctor checks them every time she sees me.! 

I've worked hard to heal

Stress alone can cause so much damage to a person, both mentally and physically. Being traumatized has more of an effect than you realize. Trauma requires HEALING. It's not something "you just deal with" or "get over". It's something that happened that you need to work through it and be able to move forward from it.

Sometimes, It's a lifetime 

I've had ailments all my life, so the aches and pains of getting old are just a different set of discomforts. My eyes are getting worn out. The glasses are needing to be stronger. I can't get around as much as before, getting up and down are a bit harder...  but from - in here... I just don't feel that dang old. Yet.

It seems every time one of the kids has a birthday, it affects me too. I'm just amazed at how they have grown up and the people they have become. When your young having your babies you think about the future and you try to imagine what it's going to be like. 

Then it happens and your looking back, comparing what you thought it would be to what it actually turned out becoming. For some the better others the worse.

 Life is an amazing journey. 

Don't waste a minute of it.

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for stopping by

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.

Brighter Days Coming

 Since it's been warming up, I've been able to go exploring with Chanelle a bit more. She of course is ready to go, pulls you full speed ahead and can go forever. The first photo is her not wanting to turn back and head the other way back to the car. It's a bit slower walking back and she doesn't pull quite as much. 

 Today she met her first little snake! It was quite the sight to watch her watching the snake. Then once it slid off to the side of the trail, she spend the rest of the walk sniffing every twig, every stick and looking in every hole, to find that snake again. 

Looking back frequently to make sure it wasn't following us too close. I'm guessing it was her first encounter with such a creature. She has had a lot of 'first time' experiences with me. I think she was never really taken out and about before I got her. 

 It's been a hard stressful week. This morning shortly after a good prayer a few answers came to light. Things are looking up in some ways, including financially. I had to make some hard decisions, turn down a few heart desires, and probably disappoint a few people. Myself included. It comes down to - you got to look at the situations - ask yourself if it is the right thing to do - respect other peoples feelings in the choices you make - make sure everyone comes out for the better. Regardless.

 Hence, the knot in my stomach as subsided. The headache is going away a bit. I hope to be able to sleep tonight {Finally} And I think we are heading down the right path. 

 My girl is pooped and ready for bed too. She's been with really close to me all weekend. Guess she knew - 

 It's been an adjustment as well  NOT having to get up at 4 am. Even though I'm still waking up, I'm not having to get up. Hopefully I can start sleeping to 6 at least? maybe.

It's been a good week of rest for my foot, and my back is actually starting to feel a bit better. I have to accept that I'm older and with disabilities comes limitations. Whether we like it or not. I just can't do the things I used to and I can't work like I used to. My weight lifting limits has decreased. The amount of time I can be on my feet has greatly decreased. And sadly I can't just sit for long periods of time either. 

 My Social Security and Jewelry sales are just going to have to be enough. Mind you I did slip in a mystery shop to the car wash the other day.... Chanelle was barking and growling at the brushes. LOL I think it was another first time! 

Blessed by God

Life's good @ the Bright side of the Barn

Thanks for Stopping by 

Until next time, Stay Safe and Happy Trails.